Well, I came back, battered and bruised, literally. My long week-end had a lot of good and a healthy dose of bad.
First, the good…Four days off work. Met with Photolife editor-in-chief about future plans for the magazine and me as a regular contributor, shared ideas, had a few laughs. Drove 700 clicks, landed in one of the most beautiful areas this side of the Rockies: the Charlevoix mountains. The sight was one to behold. The air was clean, the water abundant. Saw more wildlife in a morning than all year around Ottawa. Great horned owl. Porcupine. Black bear…can’t even remember the rest. Hiked-up one tough trail that overlooks the whole area. The view…no words to describe it.
Then it all came down crumbling. Was it the solitude? the isolation? The fatigue? All I wanted was to be home right then, not in an hour, not in a day. What was I doing? What’s this photography thing all about anyway? Who am I fooling? Is my photography worth anything? Am I on the right track? Is there a track? Needless to say, I had more questions than there were answers (actually no answers at all). I hiked back down to the campsite, sort of slept, got up in time for sunrise…no sunrise, just drab clouds, yet again. Folded my tent. Headed back home, dazed and confused.
I just got home this afternoon, questions still going around my head. I sat down at my computer, did the usual time wasting. I then remembered a post I read a while back that pointed to this video, by Zach Arias (you can see more here http://www.zarias.com/?p=284). I had meant to see it, but never did. I guess sometimes life has its reasons. It was just what I needed. Sorry for all the moody post, I needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
MOROCCO 2012 TOUR
Ottawa Workshops 2012
Click here to visit Craft And Vision.
Younes,
Glad you made it back in one piece. If it’s any consolation, most of us go thru this more often than we care to admit even to ourselves. Persevere, keep your even on the ultimate goal and don’t let anything get in your way.
Best of luck!
-J
Younes:
Did you ever read Illusions by Richard Bach? There was the old quote, “Perspective; use it or lose it”. You came back from your trip far far far far better than how I ‘stumbled’ home from my last outing. I’m nearly 3 months not having the wrist strength to use or hold a camera. I’d trade your adventure for mine in a minute, although I wouldn’t trade my adventure on anyone, save maybe my worst enemies.
Stay the course…
Cheers,
- Gary
We’ve all been there, are there, will be there… I don’t think photographers, or any creative types, ever stop questioning the value of our work. Persevere and the cycle of doubt will pass.
Is your photography worth anything? What is this photography thing anyways?
Look at your portfolio. Thats what photography is.
To be honest, I have a passion for photography beyond anything else (aside from my family). Its what keeps me alive. I am however just starting out. I found your blog a while back and have been reading it since. I look at your portfolio almost daily because, no word of a lie, thats where I want to be. Hence why Im asking you about filters recently.
I want to be able to shoot like you. If there was somebody I would choose to learn from, it would be you. Like a little apprentice. Your pictures are amazing. So thats what your photography is. heheh
Oh my haven’t we all been there!
Last month I stood amidst all the spectacular glory of Yosemite, shaking my head muttering “I’m just not seeing it.” Of course I could see it, I just couldn’t see a photograph. But I’ve learned to not struggle with it – even though the WHOLE purpose of the side trip from San Francisco was for photography – we can’t all be phenomenal all the time now can we
Not even you…
PS – I would be so proud to have your nature and landscape shots in my portfolio – seriously beautiful
I’m not even a capital P photographer but that was an amazing
video, sounds like you watched it at the right time.
Wow! Thanks everyone for the encouraging words and support! I don’t have words to express my gratitude. I just needed to vent, I received more than I ever thought I would when writing these words.
Again, Thanks!